Brother, or Lover?

How do you view guys? Do you see them as a Brother (in Christ) or a Lover?
It's an easy thing to slip into doing the second one, as seeing each guy around our age, a potential 'lover'.
I want us to be honest with ourselves, even when it's painful. Let us ask ourselves this question, and give ourselves a true answer. You don't have to share it with anyone else, besides God, of course, but it's important to know where your motives come from.
When we're walking through a store, and we see a guy that we think is not so bad looking, do we see him as someone we could 'have a crush on' or a brother in Christ?
I, just like the next gal, don't always catch myself to think of every guy as a brother in Christ. And that's where it needs to start. We need to first see every man as a brother in Christ, and if God desires something more to become of it, than it will, but we are then comforted with the knowledge that he was first our brother in Christ, and we held no impure notions about him.
By our own will we cannot just switch our thinking. It's not going to happen just like *that*. It is going to have to come from the Lord. Our strength comes from the Lord, and this is also considered a strength we need, in my opinion.
Today we treat our emotions, and feelings toward the opposite sex as if they are nothing, really. They don't matter that much, do they? But they do. This is a area we need to be daily praying about and for. We need to hand over the key to our King, and let Him guard our hearts and emotions how He desires to. It isn't up to us alone. But through Jesus Christ our King. He will take care of us, and steer our thoughts to Him, if we let Him. And it will be something that we have to work on too, because Satan wants our minds pulled away from the Lord. But "You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You." which is found in Isaiah :)
Next time you look at a guy, ask God to let you see him how the Lord sees him. Let's surrender all to God, and count it gain.

7 Responses So Far...Care to Share?:

Jenny said...

I've personally known young women who've obsessed over every guy they meet as a potential husband. Definitely not good. But I've also seen a lot of men and women permanently lost in singlehood when all sorts of nice Christians are passing right under their noses. Why? Because these men and women are stuck in a framework of mind that actually prevents them from considering their brothers and sisters in Christ as good marriage prospects. Many are in their 30s, still wondering why they're still single, but responding with a disgusted "But he/she is like a brother/sister!" when someone suggests a perfectly good match.

Ladies of Virtue said...

Yes, I do see what you mean.
The one thing that's missing, and is very important, is just trusting in the Lord to bring the right man.
There definitely needs to be a balance! :)
Thanks for your comment!

Rubies Like Ruth said...

This is very challenging and something that we girls need to consider!!!

I think that many girls, however, confuse their feelings. They say, "He's just like a brother," but deep inside, they're really picturing him as a future husband. It is definitely dangerous territory.

Sometimes, I wonder how much more beneficial it'd be for all parties concerned to change our lustful thoughts into a prayer for the young man with whom we are tempted to think about - not a selfish prayer, but an upright prayer; a prayer for his character, for his spiritual life, and for his growth and maturity.

Another thought: if we live our single lives looking at every young guy as a "lover" that bad habit WILL continue throughout our married life and we as married women will still continue to lust after handsome men (these words are not mine, but from my mom, whose wisdom I respect and admire).

Thanks for this reminder!

~Ana Renee

LadiesofVirtue said...

Thank you for your comment Ana! I agree, especially with turning our lustful thoughts into upright prayers! :)

God bless!

Anonymous said...

Christian men too often look at women in terms of "future prospects" as well. It's good to hear women being honest about the fact that this is a issue for them too.

Amber =) said...

Thank you thank you thank you for this post!!! I realize now after reading this that my perspective on guys is wrong and that is one of the reasons I struggle with guys! Thank you again!
~Amber :)

Annemarie ((: said...

Hey there! I know that this was a while ago that you posted this, but I wanted to say thank you so much for this encouragement! (: it's great to see someone out there that is taking the time to help encourage us young ladies with things such as this and to let the Lord speak through you. ((: thank you again!
~annemarie C