Self-pleasure is vanity

One morning, as I was reading my Bible, God gave me a set of verses, and thoughts that I wrote down, and decided to share them here, in case they might help someone else, as they did me :)

"I said in my heart, 'Come now, I will test you with mirth; therefore enjoy pleasure'; but surely this also was vanity. I said of laughter - 'Madness!'; and of mirth, 'What does it accomplish?'
I searched in my heart how to gratify my flesh with wine, while guiding my heart with wisdom, and how to lay hold on folly, till I might see what was good for the sons of men to do under heaven all the days of their lives."  Ecclesiastes  2: 1-3

When we give in to pleasure for ourselves, it displeases God, for it is vanity. By my acts of self-pleasure (day-dreaming, along with other things...) I was only causing grief to my Lord. That has been what has been causing me illness; my indulging in pleasure.
"I'm sorry Lord. I don't want to gain the whole world, if it means losing my soul."
When our pleasure is in God,  everything else will come together and also bring us joy. But when worldly pleasures come first, we will not have our greatest pleasure in the Lord. Even though it is difficult we - I - must act out this, so I may come back to God. As I said to ---- this morning, uphill is always harder.
It is easier to go downhill to our earthly pleasures, than it is to go back uphill to where our greater pleasure is.
But I will make it back uphill to renew my greatest pleasure, where my joy truly lives; with my Savior.
'For what is life if not for Me?' (that coming from God)
"So Lord, I give up my entire being to You, and will strive to climb that hill back to You. I'm sorry for going downhill so fast. My life is Yours. Into Your hands I commit my spirit." Amen.

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